When I left law school in early 2022, I immediately decided that what I needed was a career coach. I’d had a great experience with a life coach in the past, which helped me gain the perspective I needed to leave an abusive relationship.
I told myself that, had I invested in a career coach before enrolling in school in 2021, I would have been clear on what I wanted to do, and perhaps I would have avoided enrolling in school altogether.
So I had a couple of exploratory calls with different coaches, decided on one I liked, and we had a couple of sessions together before it became obvious that what I needed wasn’t clarity around my career. What I needed was to give myself a break from trying to figure anything out!
What I needed was to rest, regroup, and return to the things I loved (namely, writing).
When I explained this to my coach, she completely understood. She refunded any money I’d paid her that we wouldn’t be using, and we stayed in touch afterward.
Even though I didn’t walk away from that engagement with earth-shattering clarity about my next step, I wouldn’t call it a bad investment by any means. I learned a lot about myself, I was supported and treated with respect, and all of that helped me move forward.
Because of my good experiences, I was intrigued when I saw Lauren Kester, a friend of mine who is also a coach, posting about a disappointing coaching investment she’d made. I knew from her posts that she’d sunk a significant amount of money into a coach and left the program feeling disappointed and frustrated—and, unlike my experience, the coach refused to give her any money back.
This got me thinking about how we, as potential consumers, can safely navigate this world of coaching—particularly when many coaches promise us BIG results that we desperately want. How do we know if we’re making a good choice? What are the red flags we should be looking out for? Is coaching a good investment?
Read on for my conversation with Lauren:
First, tell us a little about what you do.
I'm a mindset coach and astrologer. I help overachieving women to love their lives again and get unstuck. I've been doing this since 2020, first as a side hustle and then full-time since January 2023, when I got laid off.
And you've always viewed hiring coaches as a necessary investment in your own business.
I've consistently invested in coaches, yes. Back when my business was a side hustle, I poured all of the money I made back into coaching. I think that's pretty normal early on in your business.
I worked with a few business coaches to varying levels of success. I've also worked with other coaches who specialized in helping me get unstuck. I have a business degree, and I know my business, but where I get into trouble is that I can overthink things and get in my own way. We all can, right? I can self-coach myself a lot, and I do, but having that outside perspective is invaluable.
With coaches, I've found there are some who are more practical and some who are more "woo woo." I'm a spiritual person, but there are also people who are more interested in spiritual fame and what they're doing feels very ego-driven. But there's many people who have huge hearts and will go above and beyond, and I've been able to experience both sides.
What kind of financial investment does coaching typically represent for you?
My coach in 2023 was $8K for the year, which was significant, but having that coach enabled me to really feel confident to go all in on the business, start traveling full-time, not have a home anymore, and have more confidence than ever. She helped me to surrender, lean into trust, and take practical steps toward my goals.
I love coaching, and I think that's important for me to come back to. That's why this bad investment has been so hard for me. Because I believe in coaching so much.
Tell us a bit about this bad investment. How much money was it? What made it a bad engagement for you?
When I lost my job in January 2023, I knew I wanted to go all in on my business. I know myself. I love having support, and I thrive when I do. I knew I wanted to invest in a coach, and this particular one had great marketing. It looked like their students had GREAT results.
I talked with this coach and felt aligned with them. The investment was $20K for six months of coaching, but I really thought this person would be giving me their all and that my business would grow.
However, that's not the experience I got. It felt like they were more interested in being famous than being of service. I mean, it was business coaching, and all of my marketing happens through Instagram, and they weren't even following me to see what I was doing.
Throughout the program, they didn't hold me accountable or walk the road with me. My ROI was extremely negative, even though I followed all of the advice I was given, which was pretty much to do the same thing each month.
In fact, every time I listened to the coaching advice, I had negative results. My business went down by 90%. I wasn't making enough money to even pay my bills anymore.
Did you try to address your feelings at any point with the coach?
This is on me, but it took me a while to speak up. But even after that, I felt gaslit. I told the coach I was struggling because I invested so much money and wasn't getting much in return, and they said, "Why are you focused on the past? The past is over."
No, the past isn't over. I spent $20K!
I did ask for a refund, and it was flat-out denied. It was disheartening to see the total lack of accountability. If that happened to me and I was the coach involved, I would make it right.
I know there are a lot of issues in the coaching industry.
I want to reiterate: I love coaching and it changed my life. However, since coaching is unregulated, people are getting away with a lot. There's the ICF, but coaches don't have to be part of it. I went to an accredited school, but there are a lot of coaches who didn't.
I don't think everyone needs to be ICF-certified to be effective, but in the unregulated industry, it can feel like the Wild West. I know of a coach who coaches people on how to get a boyfriend, and they've never even been in a relationship.
The numbers can also be confusing. Some business coaches will say they had a "$20K month," but in reality, even though they had a 20K month, that's all the money that they made for an entire year. This is a marketing practice I see all the time, and I think it's very misleading, especially from business coaches.
I think a good coach should direct you back to yourself, to help you become more authentic and trust yourself. A lot of the spiritual whitewashing that happens in coaching has turned it into a sort of MLM scheme: this coach pays into another coach, who pays into another coach, and they'll all tell you that you don't have the right money mindset if you're struggling. That's not always true.
And there are lots of coaches who don't admit to their humanness. The reality is that we are all humans having bad and good days. I cannot in good faith sell something to a client that says I have the ultimate solution for them because I know that doesn't exist. This work is meant to prepare you for hard times and make them less hard, but it can't make them go away entirely. There are lots of coaches who will say your vibration just isn't high enough if you don't feel great all the time, but that doesn't take into account a LOT of other factors.
What investments do you think you'll make in your business going forward?
I just started investing in a marketing partner. I realized that I don't need more business coaching; I need a funnel. I have a strong background in business, and I really just need consistent leads.
What advice do you have for someone looking for a coach?
If you want to work with a coach, go for it! Coaching changed my life. I'm someone who's been a chronic overthinker and learning to manage my mind through coaching changed everything for me.
Some tips here:
Think about what your goals are, and take your time with your decision. There are a lot of gifted coaches who can get you where you want to go. But be sure to steer clear of silver-bullet solutions and coaches who act like their lives are perfect.
When you meet with someone, assess their energy. Whether you believe in energy or not, you can tell when someone is with you or not.
Look for testimonials. Whenever possible, talk to people (more than one is always better) who have actually worked with that person.
If you're interested in a coach, look them up on Reddit and Google. Try to find reviews or any other info but be aware that many times, people don't share bad experiences. Especially in spiritual coaching, there's a lot of blame put on the person for their own bad experience.
If accreditation is important to you, use the ICF directory.
Research using hashtags on Instagram or LinkedIn, or ask people in your network for recommendations.
Look for coaches who are discerning with who they accept as clients. For example, my revenue going into my last program was good, but it probably wasn't good enough to justify a $20K investment. Looking back, the fact I was accepted was a red flag on its own.
I really think that societally, we're moving away from the BS marketing. I think people want authenticity. I want to work with coaches who show me the highs and the lows because it's not about making your life perfect. It's about making your life manageable in a way that feels good.
Connect with Lauren via IG or on her website.
What do you think about this? Have you worked with a coach? Have any tips to add? I’d love to hear from you! To comment, use the chat icons at the top of the newsletter—that way, others can see your thoughts, too!
Check out some of my latest published work:
I interviewed my dad for Healthline! Read all about his fitness journey here.
This is the Worst AI Will Ever Be (Managing Editor)
15 Top Demand Generation Marketers To Follow in 2024 (Goldcast)
How to get product management experience before you have the job title (GoPractice)
Should Job Seekers Be Hopeful? Top 5 Hiring and Workforce Trends to Monitor in 2024 (Indeed)
Top 3 Things People Ops Folks Should Be Doing Now (DevelopWell)
If you’re looking for a writer/editor or need help with admin/project mgmt tasks at your company, let’s talk! I’m always open to new work and interesting projects.
And here's what else is on my radar this month…
Call for input from those affected by industry layoffs:
If you’ve experienced a journalism layoff or buyout in the past year, a new survey needs your input! The Institute for Independent Journalists Foundation is conducting a census of journalists who were laid off and bought out recently. The survey should take 5-7 minutes.
Results will be published in Nieman Reports and distributed through the IIJ Foundation, whose mission is the sustainability of freelancers of color. You can take the census survey here. To learn more or get involved, please email census@theiij.com or join the IIJ's email list here.
Listening:
People vs. Karen—just, wow! A white influencer goes on IG and accuses the wrong Latino couple of trying to kidnap her kids, and what ensues is very satisfying if you’re tired of Karens.
Ghost Herd is the story of a farm owner who swindles Tyson and other companies out of tons of money by inventing cattle that don’t exist. A wild story, and one that really reinforces the type of people we view as “trustworthy” in America.
This Culture Study episode on cold plunging (although I have to admit I found the theatrics upon entering the water quite dramatic lol). Cold plunging is everywhere now! We bought a cheapo, single-person cold plunge off Amazon and I enjoy it, but I’m also waiting for people to come out and start saying it’s actually terrible for us…
The Girlfriends was such a good podcast. It’s about group of Jewish women in NYC who end up realizing that a doctor who’s dated a few women in the group murdered his late wife. I didn’t love it at first, but then I was totally sucked in.
Watching:
We watched Salt Burn and…I went in not knowing anything about it, which meant for me, it took a HARD left about 25% of the way through. I don’t know if I loved it, but it definitely stuck with me afterward.
We also watched Quiz Ladies, and it was such a fun movie. Although my husband did say to me, as we sat down to finish it, “You know how I know we are old? Because it takes us two days to finish one movie.”
I watched You Are What You Eat, which did seem a bit vegan-skewed to me—which is no shade at all to vegans, but it just seemed like they went in knowing what they wanted to find. They didn’t even touch on some of the negative results (for example, muscle loss), the veggie eaters experienced.
I was craving a good legal drama, and I read that The Verdict (1982) with Paul Newman was a great one, so I watched it. It was educational, not least of all for the casual violence against women and racial slurs. Nothing makes you realize how much things have changed more than watching old movies from when you were young.
Two friends and I watched Pain Hustlers, and it was definitely an entertaining movie about an abhorrent industry.
I viewed Past Lives on the plane on the way home from my honeymoon in Costa Rica, and it wrecked me. I sobbed! Nostalgia x Roads Not Taken used to be where my wind wandered constantly, so this movie hit all of those old neural pathways.
And I’m now rewatching True Detective S1 after reading Matthew McConaughey’s memoir.
Reading:
As I just mentioned, I finished Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey. Davey read it too, and we both loved it! I can’t wait to discuss it at my next book club.
I don’t read graphic novels pretty much ever, but I did pick up Alison by Lizzy Stewart and I really enjoyed it! I might get more into this genre.
I saw The Rooster Bar by John Grisham at the library, and the premise about students who realize law school is a scam piqued my interest (see opening paragraph lol), but his writing style is just not great. I remember reading one of his books in middle school and loving it, but I’m now unclear on whether they were ever good or he just got stuck in an era.
Did you know that crime and inflation are much lower right now than most people think they are?
Loved this essay by Ann Friedman about how you can shock yourself. I would have never put it into those words, but I surprise myself all of the time by evolving into a new interest or way of being. It keeps life interesting!
Why are parents so fixated on core memories? I will definitely be keeping this in mind as I continue on my stepmom journey! It feels like there’s so much pressure to create these transcendent experiences for kids, and I can tell you I pretty much only remember how people made me feel in my childhood, not the elaborate gifts/experiences they created for me.
Finally, please enjoy this picture from my honeymoon, which was a weeklong wellness retreat that completely filled my cup.
Thank you for reading! Happy Lunar New Year!
Nikki
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I love your newsletter so much. The recommendations!!!!!!