I’ve stopped drinking many times over the years but in 2018, it felt more final. I was in a bad relationship, in a new-to-me state (California), and I was attempting to grow my freelance business after quitting my full-time job.
Basically, I couldn’t afford to add more stress (read: unpredictable hangovers) to my plate.
That relationship ended in spring 2018, but my sobriety kept going. However, being single and sober was truly terrifying to me. I realized I’d never gone on a first date without drinks being involved. I’d never kissed anyone for the first time without the buffer of alcohol between us.
It’s taken me years to feel more comfortable. If I’m being truthful, it’s probably only now, on the precipice of being married, that I’m working through a lot of my anxieties around dating and closeness—and a lot of it is made possible because Davey also doesn’t drink.
That said, you can imagine my excitement to learn that my friend Tawny Lara, aka The Sober Sexpert, has published a book on exactly this topic and it’s now available for pre-order!
AND THERE’S MORE! As a Will & Way reader, if you pre-order her book and send a screenshot of your receipt to tawny@sobrieteaparty.com, you get a free, 5-minute 1:1 with Tawny to ask her any question you want about sober dating and relationships.
If anything about sober dating interests you—whether you’re currently sober, sober curious, or might want to experiment with not drinking sometimes—I encourage you to check out Tawny’s work. This is the resource I wish I’d had to refer to in 2018, when I felt like I was being eaten from the inside with nerves at the thought of “raw dogging” my way through a first date.
Here are some sober headlines that have caught my eye lately, from the city I lived in longest to the one I live in now:
Jazz Fest will now have a sobriety tent with mocktails
Houston just opened the state’s first non-alcoholic bottle shop
In other news, check out my latest published work:
An interview with Ardath Albee about why marketers are never done with buyer personas
And here's what else is on my radar this month…
Watching:
I finished and highly recommend: Descendant. Just amazing. I can’t wait to go to DC this summer and visit the Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History. Also, Meet Me in the Bathroom made me cry and want to be 20-something in New Orleans again, going out every night to see random bands. And, Beef—so intense and so good.
I watched but not sure how I feel about it: The Whale (although Davey loved it) and the final Magic Mike movie
Reading:
Finished and recommend: Real Self-Care by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston, and Three Women by Lisa Taddeo
I loved this article on Melba’s in New Orleans and their literacy advocacy
Everything looks the same lately. Somewhat related, but what makes people’s faces look “modern.”
Been trying hard to cut down on screen time lately: We don’t have to give in — we don’t have to be a world in which dinner tables are occupied by adults scrolling through social media instead of speaking to each other, only looking up long enough to capture a photo for Instagram that other people can envy while they’re ignoring their friends in favor of their Instagram feed.
This article on Richard Walter, a “genius criminal profiler” who was anything but, blew my mind!
Nicole Chung on the costs of becoming a writer: I think about who gets to be a writer or an editor, who can afford to wait for that livable salary or that higher advance. Who can choose to prioritize their creative goals, take potentially career-making risks, invest precious years in this work without the guarantee of financial stability. And I think about whose work we may be losing—whose stories we aren’t reading—because they, and perhaps their families, simply cannot afford for them to hang around and wait.
How “Blurred Lines” predicted everything bad that came to pass
Listening:
Playing Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Tennis in anticipation of this weekend, when I get to see both live! This is my fourth time seeing Tennis, and I highly recommend checking them out if you haven’t already. Such a fun, glittery energy.
I enjoyed this episode of The Writers’ Co-Op about time blocking and condensed workweeks
I’ve discovered a 17+ hour playlist of Millenial Hip-Hop, Rap, and R&B and have been listening to this when I need to perk up while driving
Contests, Resources, Opportunities:
The fourth annual Managing Editor compensation survey is up—you can take it here. The first respondents get a free coffee!
Advance your efforts and meet other people working to advance marginalized genders, races, orientations, and others in the workplace. The American Association of Corporate Gender Strategists is taking applications for its 2023 cohort.
Open Lines is accepting applications for its Marketing on Purpose small group course. You’ll learn how to be intentional with marketing efforts and get results for your business.
Tomorrow, Ladies Get Paid is hosting a workshop on how to raise your rates (without feeling bad about it)
Have a great month,
Nikki
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I went to a nearby lake for a weekend retreat with three friends, and it was just what I needed.
Thanks for reading!
Thanks again, Nikki! ❤️📚